This morning I received a message from one of my close friends about "what is happiness" rather how to achieve the "state of happiness"
Well, I like to retrospect, a lot. I do not agree with the message, at all. Here is a piece by piece analysis with my perspective. I do not expect you to agree with it.
ARE YOU HAPPY ?
I challenge you to answer this in a simple yes or no. Think over it again.
Is happiness a state of life? Is this a closed question? Is it so simple that in can be thrown across you at any point of time and you jump up with an answer like 2+2 =4? Here are some more similar questions, try answering them in a yes or no-
- Are you an adult?
- Are you mature?
- Are you a literate?
- Are you educated?
- Are you intelligent?
- Are you wise?
The list can keep on going, however the crux is some questions do not have an answer, rather the quest to find answers to these questions prolong the meaning of living a life. How can someone expect a yes or no? Even the most simplest of men, even a child cannot answer it, and if they do believe me they didn't understand the question. This is not about over complicating things, it's about simplifying questions, breaking it in parts, implementing it in life. It's not just about living life, it's about reflection how am I doing, what went wrong and then correcting my self on the course. After all who am I if I do not understand the world around me and the questions shot by it? An ignorant perhaps.
We r all searching for happiness.
In achieving this happiness our attitude in life plays a crucial role.
There is no search for happiness, one simply walks into it. However I agree with the attitude part.
The writers then pens a story to support it's cause-
After years of hard & dedicated service to his Company, Ajay was being appointed at an elegant reception as the new Director.
It was a small function where his wife Anita , a Home Executive & some of the wives of the other persons in top management were also present.
In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the CEO of the Company, asked Ajay's wife a very odd & usual question;
"Does ur husband make u happy?"
The husband, Ajay, who at that moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride & hope, would definitely not publically lower or degrade her husband, would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage and generally in life.
Nevertheless, to both his & the others' surprise, she replied simply;
"No, no he doesn't make me happy…"
The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response.
There was a sudden coldness in the air.
The husband was petrified.
A frown appeared on his face.
He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him.
To the amazement of her husband & of everyone!
Anita sat up firmly & explained in a modest but stern tone to the other wives who were present;
Petrified husband, frown on the face, hold these thoughts, we will discuss them later.
"No, he doesn't make me happy… I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not doesn't depend on him, but on me.
GOD has granted each of us intellect & discretion to reason, interpret & decide.GOD made me the person upon which my happiness depends.I make the choice to be happy in each situation & in each moment of my life.If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!
OK so he doesn't make you happy, you are happy because of your own existence. This implies you would be happy even if he wasn't promoted because you know your happiness depends on you, even if you were never married to him, because your happiness depends on you. And why him, even if you were the sole creature roaming on this earth you would be happy, wouldn't you? Because your happiness depends on you, right?
Let me elaborate on this highly sensitive topic which I intended not to mock upon, but when statements like this are so shamelessly thrown by amateur writers it makes me feel HAPPY to mock them in the same fashion like Mark Antony mocks "the honorable men" in Julius Caesar.
What do you see in front of you? A computer/tablet/smartphone? Who defined what you are seeing? Why is a computer called a computer? Why are your eyes called eyes? Is it what you see is what is out there? Every single thing and thought in this observable and non observable universe is relative. Einstein's theory is the special theory of relativity. We exist because we are not alone. The concept of GOD is based on relativity, a super human who has abnormal powers and can punish or reward based on one's deed. The fact that there is a change in emotional state is only because of the recognition of it by other similar human beings. We feel happy, sad, angry, jealous, betrayed, content only by comparing our current state of mind with that of our counterparts. I have a question-
- Is Bill Gates rich? - an immediate counter question springs to mind- richer than who? Is it spiritual richness or monetary?
The point I am trying to make is we humans are a social being, we love to integrate and live in a society hence how can the core emotions be just the virtue of our own being?
Certainly the wife cannot be happy by herself, she is happy only because she judges her perception and actions having astound moral values as compared to others in her society. It's all in the matrix. The fact that she or anybody is happy/has any emotions is very largely dependent on the people who recognize her, friends and foes.
Next few lines are highly debatable and require a lot of discussion
Over my life I have learned a couple of things:I decide to be happy & the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances' like helping, understanding, accepting, listening, consoling & with my spouse, I have lived & practiced this many times.
Honestly true happiness lies in being content"
How can one decide to be happy? Since when the emotional states have become a decision? The sentence should be clearly the other way round- "There are matters of experiences or circumstances' like helping, understanding, accepting, listening, consoling & then I become happy(not decide)"
Imagine if all of us just DECIDE to be happy, how would the world be then, people just content on their sufferings, disease and death no longer affects anybody, global issues do not spark a debate, the young blood does not boil over to fight for the most indecent crime of today. There are no fighters, everybody is just a happy zombie.
If you truly want to become happy, first try to become a human. Feel what you are supposed to feel. Be angry when you see an open crime, fight for it. Discuss it with sadness and discontent among your friends. Accuse leaders of corrupt and wrong practices. Have a flame inside yourself. And when you see your ideas taking life, your movement transforming the world, or simply you qualifying the exam you prepared so hard for, or cracking that job interview you were anxious for, or getting that promotion you long thought you deserved, or buying that car for which you miserly saved money for, at that point of time just come and tell me are you happy? Are you content?
Happiness may be having a different definition for you but this is mine and I do not expect it to match with everybody else's but this I am confident of that I want to earn this happiness and I cannot just DECIDE to be happy forever. After all this makes me who I am , defines me what I want to do and most of all it makes me human.
"Honestly, true contentment lies in being happy"- Shub
Some more pointless and rhetorical questions posted by the author to prolong the post and just beat around the bush-
There are those who say I cannot be happy :
· Because I am sick.
· Because I have no money.
· Because it's too cold.
· Because they insulted me.
· Because someone stopped loving me.
· Because someone didn't appreciate me.
But what u don't know is that u can be happy even though u r sick, whether it is too hot, whether u have money or not, whether someone has insulted u, or someone didn't love u, or hasn't valued u.
When I am sick I will be sad, I will shed tears when I am being injected and I will be euphoric when my friends come with flower bouquets for me with get well soon cards, stay by me and play cards with me all night. This is me, a normal human who has varying emotions!
When I have no money I will curse myself for not managing my funds properly, but I will learn and rise again, and after a few days when I turn and look back how I managed to recover from the crisis then I will be elated and happy. I will toast with my friends remembering those nights. This is me!
When its too cold, I will curse GOD for there are people who cannot afford the cold, I will act and incite the society to work for the poor and needy, I will shake the authorities to wake up and be up and being. This will involve anger, rude talks and even physical fights but I will do it and simply just won't decide to happy because its cold. This is me!
When somebody insults me, I will surely take it personally, I will remember it and come out so strong that they dare not insult me again, I wont just decide to be happy because someone insulted me, I will fight back. This is me!
When someone stops loving me.....well about that.....another time...another post!!
However sad, depressed or down I may be, whenever I see a baby wailing, or my friends crying, or meet a disturbed stranger, I will tickle the baby, make funny noises for him, I will crack such nonsense jokes that your ribs might break out, right in the middle of the street or in an ongoing class, or a meeting, that is happiness for me, that is when I DECIDE to be happy just because I can make someone else happy. This is me, love me or hate me :)
PS: The views expressed above are extremely personal and may differ insanely from person to person. Expressing myself is the true purpose of this blog and I do not aim to criticize anyone's work. Its simply a reflection of my inner state and is bound to change from time to time as I get to know myself and the world around me better. The changes in my thought process will be always welcomed and updated here as well. Feel free to comment in an open and healthy state of mind. Peace.
